


Lost in Emptiness

by MoonPotatoe



Series: B'nuka Pain Because I am Evil [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Crying, Inner Dialogue, Male Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Monsters, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24942655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonPotatoe/pseuds/MoonPotatoe
Summary: "Why... Why did they let me live.. ? Why didn't they just let me die...?"The Warrior of Darkness gives up after loosing everything. His friends, his home, and himself.(A different variation of Warden of Light)
Series: B'nuka Pain Because I am Evil [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781224
Kudos: 6





	Lost in Emptiness

**Author's Note:**

> More pain, more gain. I really like the idea of WoD giving up after seeing the Light return and them being the cause of it. But instead of doing what Emet says and heading of heading to the Tempest, they go to the Empty to be totally alone.

He was on his knees in pain. He has lost control of the Light within him and is slowly and painfully turning into a monster. In front of him was the Crystal Exarch. Dead. To his left were his comrades in arms, the Scions. Dead. To his right was the Ascian Emet-Selch, floating in the air with darkness surrounding his body. Alive. The deaths of all his friends was enough to push him over the edge. A pair of white, feathery wings burst forth from his back, covered in a slimy white ichor. His hand and feet became claw-like as they ripped apart the clothes restraining his body. His teeth became razor sharp like knives, grinding together as the Miqo'te hurled up pools of liquid light from all of his face holes. His body grew, skin going pale and marble like, fur becoming white and feathery like his wings, and his eyes melted away, leaving two black voids in their place. The creature rose and roared, lunging towards the dead bodys of his comrades and began to feast on what remains of their aether. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

B'nuka opened his eyes. Everything was fuzzy, and warm. When his eyes came to focus, he no longer found himself in the Crown of the Immaculate, turning into a monster and feast on his dead friends, he was in his room in the Pendants in his pyjamas all alone. He was tired, he just wanted nothing more than to collapse back onto his bed and sleep, but what about his nightmare? Was it real? Is he dead? What happened to him? To the Scions? Emet-Selch? The Exarch? Has he won? Is Light no longer a threat? These questions rushing his head, B'nuka rose from his bed, his body aching from lying down for so long. Just how long has he been out for? By the closed window of his room was a ghostly figure of a Hyurian axeman. Ardbert. The shade turned around and noticed B'nuka returning to the conscious world as the Miqo'te sat up.

"Ah, finally." The shade spoke with a somber tone in his voice. Why? What had happened? B'nuka rubbed his tired eyes and looked at his ghostly companion, wanting to ask him so many questions as to what happened on Mount Gulg, but only one managed to come out of his mouth. 

"Was it… Was it all a dream? Was it all just some horrible nightmare?" B'nuka'a voice was hoarse and dry, most likely due to a lack of hydration and how long he's been out for. Ardbert doesn't make eye contact with B'nuka. There's something the shade isn't telling the Miqo'te. 

"It makes sense you are confused by everything that has happened…" The shade continues to not make eye contact with B'nuka as he explains everything that happened after the defeat of Vauthry. "After you collapsed, Emet-Selch vanished. Then Ryne did what she could to stave the raging Light in your body. Thanks to her, you're still you, but she's only delayed the inevitable." 

B'nuka was still confused as to what Ardbert just said. What do you mean "only delayed the inevitable?" He got up off his bed and walked towards the shade, passing a glance at himself in the mirror. He still looked like a Miqo'te, he was just bandaged up. But then he noticed his hair. Small bits of white dotted his sandy blonde hair, same with his tail. Ardbert just gestured towards the closed window in the room, clearly wanting B'nuka to open it. "You're not going to like what you see, but you still need to see it." With hesitation, the window is opened, and blinding Light fills the room. When his eyes adjust to the change in lighting, the sight brings despair to the Miqo'te. The skys were covered in Light, blocking out the night leaving the world in eternal day. B'nuka fell to his knees. He couldn't hear what Ardbert was saying because his mind was being filled with all his thoughts.

_ I did this… _

_ It was all for nothing…! _

_ What's going to happen to me…?  _

_ What should I do…? _

**_Run._ **

B'nuka heard a voice in his head. It sounded like his, but it spoke with a stern tone and sounded distorted. 

_ What…? _

**_Run away. You have failed._ **

B'nuka doesn't know what to do, but the voice is right. He has failed. So, he runs. He runs out of the room, leaving Ardbert in the wind. He crashes the doors to his room open getting the manager if the suites worried as to what is going on with B'nuka. But he doesn't listen and just keeps running. In the midst of all the running, the Miqo'te stumbles into things and people, but he doesn't care. He just has to get out of the city. Why? He just has to. 

When he reaches the bridge connecting the Crystarium and Lakeland, he is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. B'nuka instinctively turns around and pushes himself away from the hand on his shoulder, which turns out to be Lyna. The captain of the guard is not alone, as many of the Crystarium's citizens are with her, all worried about what's wrong with B'nuka. Their voices fill his head, as he clenches his ears to block out the noise and pain, but their voices are echoing in his mind. 

**_Tell them the truth._ **

B'nuka didn't know what happened next, all he knew is that he was shouting and screaming at everyone about the truth of everything. Who he is, where he's from, why he's here, how he got to the First, and what he has done.

"You see the sky up there!? That means Light is consuming this world! Lightwardens cause it! I'm causing it! I absorbed the Light of the Wardens and it is causing me to slowly become the Lightwarden to end all Lighwardens! I am Light! I am Light incarnate! I AM-" Before B'nuka could finnish his sentence, he was hit by a convulsion of Light. It hurt like a thousand needles were stabbed all over his body and were being pushed further in him. He coughed up a small bit of liquid Light on the ground, but his body was still fighting and the convulsion cleared. When he looked up at the people, they were backing away from him, fear all over their faces. The guards had their hands hovering over their weapons, Lyna included. B'nuka began to slowly back away from the people, fear all over his face as well. He was going to apologise to them all and make his way out of the city, but it wouldn't be that easy. He had just told them all the truth of what just happened and had almost turned right in front of them. He felt something hit his arm, a small stone. More stones soon came and the guards were approaching him, weapons drawn. The Crystarium had turned on him. Now was a good time to run. 

"After it!" A guard called out, initiating an angry mob to chase B'nuka out of the city. The Miqo'te ran as fast as he could, tears in his eyes as he tried his best to avoid the many stones being thrown at him and arrows being shot at him. Everyone in Lakeland had turned against him in an instant. He had to flee. It was the Bloody Banquet all over again, except this time he actually was guilty. He had soon lost the angry mob as he had run all the way to the dunes of Ahm Araeng. When he could confirm he was alone, he stopped to catch his breath, and then collapsed in a pool of tears. He was alone, scared, and defenseless. It felt like the whole world had turned on him. He shouldn't have mindlessly blurted out the truth like that, the whole situation would be different. 

"There you are! Do you have any idea how much trouble you have caused!?" B'nuka felt the familiar presence behind him. Ardbert. The Miqo'te wouldn't make eye contact with the shade as he scolded him for all the chaos he has caused. "I told you to get some fresh air to clear your head, not to blurt out that you are the one responsible for the Light's return. The whole of Norvrant is after you know!" B'nuka didn't say a word. Ardbert was right. He was an idiot, causing an entire world to turn on him in an instant. He couldn't stay in the deserted ruins despite how deserted they were. Bounty hunters are most likely already beginning to search all of Norvrandt for him. But where would he go? Going back to the Source was not an option because turning there will cause a calamity even worse than the one in Urianger's vision. Then there was this "Tempest" that Emet-Selch had offered for him, but he doesn't want to face the Ascian like this, a half monster weaponless man wearing nothing but his small clothes. He doesn't even know where the Tempest is.

**_The Empty_ **

B'nuka looked towards the giant wall of Light. He remembered what Alisaie had told him about what lay beyond the wall, an endless plain of emptiness, unsuitable for life as Light reigns rampant. No man would ever dare to go there, as the aetheric imbalance will turn any living creature that ventures there into a sin eater. A perfect place for a monster like him to hide. B'nuka slowly gets up and begins to make his way south, the shade of Ardbert calling out to him. 

"Hey! Are you even listening!? B'nuka what's gotten into you? Normally you would be figuring out how you're going to get out of this mess. If you venture into the Empty, you will turn in moments! B'nuka-"

"B'NUKA'S GONE!!!" The Miqo'te lashes out at the shade, his emotions getting the better of him. "B'NUKA DIED THE MOMENT HE COLLAPSED AT MOUNT GULG!!! I AM NO LONGER A MAN!!! I'M NO LONGER HUMAN!!!" B'nuka turned away from Ardbert. "I'm just a monster... And this monster wants to be alone… Why don't you go back to doing what you were doing these past hundred years. Wandering what remains of this world. Enjoy it while you can, as it won't be long before it ends…" With that, Ardbert fell silent, the shade disappeared leaving the Miqo'te alone with his thoughts as he made his way towards the Empty.

_ Why…? Why did they let me live…? Why didn't they let me die…? Why do I have to suffer through this pain? This madness? This- _

**_Feeling of acceptance as you become what you are meant to be…_ **

B'nuka looked around in a panic. This voice has been bothering him for a while and has been no end to all the trouble he's in. It's the reason he was chased out of the Crystarium, the reason everyone in Norvrandt is hunting him down, the reason why he has driven off all his friends. He had to confront this voice before he lost himself, just what is its purpose. 

"Who… Who's there?" He called out.

**_Up here. In your head. I'm surprised you finally decided to take notice of me._ **

B'nuka continued his trek southwards towards the Empty, all while talking to the voice in his head.

"Who are you…? And what do you want with someone as broken as me?"

**_The answer is painfully obvious. I am you, your inner Light. And I am simply here to direct you towards becoming what you are meant to become as a champion of Light._ **

"My...inner Light…?" B'nuka was clearly confused as to what this inner Light meant and is. Is it simply just a sign of him slowly losing his mind as the Light eats away at his soul. 

**_Allow me to start at the beginning. The Bloody Banquet of Ul'dah. You remember that don't you? Did you ever wonder why Hydaelin wanted Minfilia to get caught in your friend's spell? The truth is, you dearest mother wanted to make you her voice, not her._ **

"Hydaelin wanted...me?" The revelation shook the Miqo'te to his core. The shock of what this inner Light just told him caused another convulsion of Light, it was more painful and lasted a bit longer. Ryne's enchantment was beginning to fade. He had to reach the Empty, but the last convulsion had left him tired and unable to move. 

**_It looks like you could use some help. Allow me to help, if you wish._ **

Without even answering, B'nuka felt a burning pain in his head, it felt like someone was drilling into his head and pulling out his eyes. He began to panic as he had no idea what was happening. Was he turning? No, he could think clearly and wasn't making monterous noises. When the pain finally passed, something didn't feel right. His body stood up on it's own, no input from him. He tried to look around and move but he couldn't. When the eyes on his body opened, they were different, no longer violet with cat pupils. The whites of his eyes had gone black, his iris a blinding light, no pupils. 

**Ah, it's so nice to be the one controlling the body. But I'm afraid your time is up.**

B'nuka had now become a bystander in his own body, watching it move all on its own while being controlled by the inner Light. B'nuka then felt a stinging pain on his feet, looking to see Light filling his mind, erasing his feet. It was rising, threatening to drown him. At the same time, his body was racked with a convulsion. He couldn't feel anything, only nothing as the Light in his mind grew and grew. 

**AHAHAHAHA!!! Come, let's leave these ruins and drown in Mother's blessing as we ascend beyond mortal limits!**

In an instant, the dunes of Ahm Araeng vanished as everything was replaced with emptiness. The Empty. In an instant, B'nuka's body collapsed on its hands and knees, hurling up uncontrollable amounts of Light. B'nuka was struggling to keep his head about the water, as Light had practically filled the void in his head. He held his breath as he was finally submerged under Light. 

**Resistance if futile. This is your destiny, our destiny, to become Lux. Lux will show everyone the bliss of Light. With Mother's blessing, Lux will be able to travel to other worlds with ease, and show all the imperfect fools that perfection lies with becoming one with Light. Lux is what Mother has been working towards! All that pain and sacrifice you have felt, IT'S ALL FOR LUX!!!**

And in that moment, everything went quiet and bright, as B'nuka and his inner Light became one. It was painless and happened in an instant. Lux had been formed. A servant of Hydealin, its purpose being to unite everything in Light, and cast away every bit of Darkness from the stars. 


End file.
